Funnies
How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down
Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down
Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Little Known Christmas Fact
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
Uncle Kevin left work early because of the awful weather. It was the worst blizzard seen in Shewsbury for many decades. Visibility was almost zero as he began his drive home. As the car warmed up he wondered whether, in fact, if he would make it home at all. He remembered that Grandma always had advice for situations like this:.' If caught in a blizzard, 'she would say, 'follow the snowplough.'
As luck would have it a snowplough drove by at that instant and Uncle Kevin began to follow.
It was some time later when the snowplough parked and the driver came back to Uncle Kevin and commented on the fact that he had been following him for several miles. He smiled and told the driver about the advice of how to act in a blizzard.
The driver, too, smiled back at him and said he could follow him for as long as she liked but that he had now finished the BestBuy parking lot and was moving on to Toys 'R' Us next.
